Joseph PilatesPeople let out their demons, "exorcising" them at the gym. It's a place of vanity, insecurity, intimacy, and insanity. People have their varying reasons for being weird at the gym: exercising is exorcising.
At my gym, there are always a trickle of males in the female-predominant Pilates classes. This isn't sexist, as Joseph Pilates, Pilates founder, had a penis; this is a result of marketing: What typical red-blooded male is going to listen to Daisy Fuentes Pilates infomercial testimonials ("Pilates transformed my body") and then, run out to buy her DVDs and then, run to a gym Pilates class in vain effort?
?
Well, I know of a creepy, old, and red-haired man who likes Pilates - and if not for his lack of proper underwear and leper-like Psoriasis patches, he would go unnoticed. The moment of disgusted indignation came when he was doing cat/cow stretches on his mat with his splotchy, itching balls 'a swingin' out of his L.L. Bean swim trunks in front of my face.
I began to openly scowl, hiss, and sigh very loudly with the hope that either he would turn around so I could run my mouth off, or more diplomatically, that his wife would hear my racket and be mortified when she looked over to see that half of the gym was looking up her husband's shorts in terror. None of these things happened.
So, I threw up in my mouth, and trooper that I am, deepened my breath and went on to do my hundreds arm splashy things. I am proud of myself; if this not restraint, I do not know what is.
(Wear underwear to a Pilates mat class! And if you have white, patchy things on your legs, please wear pants, too.)
